


Unreal

by embarrassingresultofmyfreetime



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff, Gen, Hand Touch, Happy Ending, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Other, Spydoc, The Doctor saves the Master at the last second, Thoschei, and how he wishes things could be different between them, angst tiiiiime, best enemies, but also fluff, face touch, fix-it fic? maybe?, happy ending depending, im gonna level with you i have no idea how to categorize this, soft and fond touches but also lots of sad emotions, the Master has big feelings about the Doctor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 08:21:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29855253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/embarrassingresultofmyfreetime/pseuds/embarrassingresultofmyfreetime
Summary: The Master wakes up in what he believes to be the afterlife to find a reality he wishes was real.
Relationships: The Doctor & The Master (Doctor Who), The Doctor/The Master (Doctor Who), Thirteenth Doctor & The Master (Dhawan), Thirteenth Doctor/The Master (Dhawan)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 31





	Unreal

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: disassociation, mentions of death  
> (There's nothing too bad, but big time disassociation warning for sure. Please don't read if this will upset you)

The Master should probably be upset. He was nearly certain that he really should be. However, he had woken up like a child in the middle of the night, unsure what to do with such a still and empty pocket of time where anything was possible.

For a moment, he knew nothing other than what he could see and hear and feel. He had no sense of time, and no sense of anything further than his immediate reality.

The Master's head was propped up against something and two arms that were not his own layed on his chest. He opened his eyes to discover that he was lying in the Doctor's folded legs as the Doctor's worried expression scanned over him. Her face appeared upside down to the Master from the angle she was sitting.

At the sight of the Master's reappearance to this plane of existence, the Doctor's moved her open palms to brush against the sides of his face. Her looming shadow shielded him from the harsh light of the outside world. It made the Master feel as if it was only the two of them in existence.

For one shining second, the Master couldn't remember anything else. For just that moment, he was staring up at the Doctor's gorgeous face as her expression relaxed into a relieved grin.

Her eyes were so bright this time around. She looked so... happy.

To see **him** \- of all people.

The Master's breath trembled from his lips and the moment crashed onto him with all the weight of a collapsing star system.

A small tear escaped the edge of his eye and slid aimlessly down his temple.

The Master reached up slowly to the Doctor's face. He was facing the wrong way, on his back staring up at her like he was staring into the sun, as he gently took her face in his hands.

"I'm dead, aren't I?" he flinched ever so slightly. The words sent a very real surge of pain through his body.

He had to be. The Doctor would never be here, holding him, nor would she ever be so happy to see him- not unless this wasn't reality.

"Don't be so dramatic!" the Doctor laughed.

The Master could feel his hearts break and the shattered fragments dig their way into his chest. They buried themselves there, sharp and agonizing, trapped in inoperable positions.

The Master's eyes began to fill with more tears now, so many that they distorted his view and scattered the light before him into streaks. He blinked them away as fast as he could, fighting through the blurs of color to see the Doctor's face just once more.

He knew this couldn't be real because she was there and this was everything he could ever want.

Her face, her touch, her words....

She was perfect. Too perfect to be reality. So perfect... that this could only be a recreation.

The Master had expected hell when he died. He had expected to be met with the weight of all the lives he'd taken or some dramatic equivalent. He had never, not once, expected to be greeted by the one face he wanted to see.

Maybe it _was_ hell after all. Only hell could know that this recreation hurt more than anything he'd ever known.

It was agony, to see someone like that, someone he loves so very deeply, to see her _happy_ \- and know that it was wrong simply because _he_ was there. Because _he_ was never- and would never- be enough to make her this happy.

"I'm sorry," the Master confessed in barely more than a whisper.

His voice crashed and he couldn't say a word more in fear that he would make a fool of himself.

The Doctor was there, clear as day. The only person who had ever understood him, the only person he had ever truly cared about. She was there and he...

He would give anything if only they could only stay like this.

He couldn't see her again, through the tears blocking his sight, and a small steam slipped from the edge of his vision. Each tear followed its predecessor down the side of his face and over the Doctor's hand. It cleared up his sight, and the Master was disappointed to see the Doctor's cheerfully disposition shift into a sharp concern.

"Hey now, are you alright? You're not injured, are you?"

The Master's breath was coming and going in heavy waves now.

His Doctor would never bother to ask him that. And he knew this. So why did it feel so incredible to hear her say such a thing?

He had to part his lips slightly to pull the necessary air into his desperate systems.

"I'm sorry," he tried again.

He couldn't seem to stop. He couldn't even remember the last time he had cried, not that he could pinpoint the reason why he was crying right now either, but for some inexplicable reason- through a world that felt so wrong- this somehow felt right.

He was determined to lay there and repeat it, again and again, until one of these times he got the words right. Until he could make the Doctor believe that he truly was sorry. Until the end of the world came and forced them apart.

"What's wrong with you?" the Doctor asked, with her brows all pressed together and nose scrunched up.

"I scanned you over already. You should be fine!"

The Doctor's eyes flickered about his features.

"I'll scan you again. Don't get up yet. If you are injured, then it's best to keep you steady. Are you feeling alright?" she asked, her lips and eyes outlined with deep lines of concern.

The Master could barely breathe.

She... was worried about him? Genuinely worried?

The Master couldn't recall the last time someone had properly asked him if he was alright.

He didn't know what to do other than stare and try to remember how to breathe.

He parted his lips further to say something, but then he abruptly realized he didn't know what else to say.

That particle blast... it _must_ have killed him.

He _must_ be dead. And... what? Was this his punishment? To watch the person he had failed the most continue to be selfless for his sake? To act like she cared when the Master already _knew_ it was unrealistic for her to ever ask him such a thing?

He pressed his fingers- his shaking fingers- gently through the Doctor's hair at either side of her face.

He stared at her in awe.

She felt real. She breathed and reacted and spoke and _felt_ real.

Maybe he could pretend- if only for a minute- that she really was the Doctor.

"I'm sorry," the Master breathed again.

He was doing his best to convince himself that this was really her. He had to believe that he could get the apology right, that he could somehow make things right, if he was going to survive whatever punishment this was.

Was he still crying? He had barely noticed.

One of the Doctor's palms softly brushed his cheek and the Master turned his face into it.

He wanted to be here, with her, with the _only_ person who understood what it was like to live the lives they lived in a world as cruel as this. To be here, with her, and know that everything he saw, she could see as well.

All the possibilities, all the wonder, all the pain. She knew it as well as she did. Ever since they were young- as far back as the Master could remember- it had always been _her_.

When had he lost track of that? Why did the Time Lords have to ruin it for them? Why did the universe seem hell bent on stopping them from being on the same side?

The Doctor's other hand slid down the Master's jaw and over the side of his neck.

The Master closed his eyes, softly, and breathed in the sensation.

Maybe he should just stay there, suffering and wishing, against the safety of her touch. Sure it was... overwhelming and terrifying and he was convinced she would disappear any second- but he couldn't help it.

He was sorry. He was so sorry. He never meant for this to happen. Maybe... If he hadn't had gotten so angry over the truth. Maybe if he had buried his fury and let it suffocate and die, then things wouldn't have unfolded the way they did.

Maybe if he hadn't let his own sense of justice guide him down the path it led to, then this wouldn't be waiting at the other end.

Maybe if he had realized he loved her sooner, he could have found a way to repair their relationship and feel her hands against him for real.

Maybe if he hadn't been so angry and scared...

Maybe if the Doctor hadn't been so ruthless and stubborn...

Maybe then they could have actually had this.

"Calm down now. It's alright. You're safe," the Doctor promised softly. "Have a scare, did you?"

The Doctor chuckled lightly, clearly doing her best to improve upon the heavy stillness in the air around them.

The Master moved his hands down to cover hers.

He closed his eyes softly and pretended it was real. He pretended he would never have to get up again, as if his life depended on it.

They weren't who they believed, and the Doctor had become so much more than he could ever aspire to be. He didn't have the strength to keep pretending to be something he wasn't.

Maybe it was for the best that he was dead.

He let his head fall heavy in her lap, one of her hands still to his cheek, and the other resting on his collar. With any luck, he could sleep right here for ages and do everything in his power to forget the world he had just come from.

It felt like hours- but the Master knew it must have only been a couple minutes- when the Doctor's fingers suddenly patted at his collarbone.

"Don't fall asleep on me again!" the Doctor said warmly.

Still, unmoving, and exhausted, the Master's eyes opened ever so slightly as she continued.

"If that blast really did catch you, then I'll need to get you to the medbay for a few scans. You won't be dying on my watch!" the Doctor assured him.

The Master looked up at her once more, soaked in the sight, and then rolled his eyes gently.

"Very funny. I'm well aware I'm already dead," the Master replied as his lips pulled into a small, amused smile.

He didn't mean to smile per se, but it was a bad residual habit of dark humor.

"What?" the Doctor asked, obviously confused.

"You're not dead!" she exclaimed.

The Master simply let out a small breath and hummed,

"Sure. Insult to injury. Whatever you say."

The Master's eyes opened wide as the Doctor pulled away and his head hit the ground rather sharply.

Now that _did_ feel like something she would do.

"That's enough. Let's get you to the medbay. You're clearly confused," the Doctor decided firmly.

"What?" the Master asked this time.

However, he couldn't get more than a word of protest in as the Doctor quickly pulled him to his feet and then by the arm down the long halls of her Tardis.

It was quite bright, and sitting up so suddenly was incredibly disorienting. He blinked against the amber lights and before he knew it, the Doctor caused him to stumble backwards into a large chair.

He attempted to sit up again, but the Doctor shoved him back into the seat and pinned him there with one hand. The Master was too tired and uninterested to fight it, so he complied.

The Doctor stared at a screen on the wall to examine the scan.

"You appear fine enough," she observed. "Although certain levels are off the chart. When's the last time you had a healthy meal and a good night's sleep?"

The Master only shrugged.

This almost felt like the Doctor's Tardis. It was a good replica. He wondered how accurate it was to the real thing.

"Still," the Doctor continued aloud, "you've been quite out of character. What's with you?"

The Master rolled his eyes, but he couldn't keep up the act. He was tired and honestly every muscle in his body hurt. He just wanted to get some rest before the real nightmares showed up.

"I could say the same about you," the Master mused.

He closed his eyes again and let his mind drift free.

The Doctor shook him awake. She was in front of him in an instant and had no qualms with sharply shaking him by the shoulders.

"Stop that! No sleeping until I make sure it's safe for you. Perhaps you have a nasty concussion-"

"I don't, Doctor. Goodness. There really _is_ no rest for the wicked, is there?" the Master half-joked.

"Not until I'm certain!" the Doctor added more grimly.

The Master rolled his eyes and turned his head halfheartedly to face her once more.

"I get it. You're the part of me that wants to keep fighting. You want to give me hope before the real torture begins so it hurts all the more when I fail. Cheers. Now if it's all the same to you, please leave me alone."

"See!" the Doctor exclaimed as if his words were some form of evidence, "Right there! You're not making any sense! Well, less than usual anyways. I need to keep my eye on you."

The Master dragged himself up from the chair and through the door. Out in the hall again, the Master stumbled down the corridor to an unused room. It was basically empty.

Once inside the soothing darkness, he slipped out of his shoes and tossed himself into the cold covers.

The Doctor chased him inside, but the Master simply ignored her.

"I need to monitor you," the Doctor exclaimed.

And the genuine worry in her voice once again assured the Master that this wasn't real. At least maybe that meant things had worked. Maybe it was finally over.

Even still, this faux-Doctor's presence was a welcomed one as he drifted off to sleep.

"Fine. Then stay with me. But I want to sleep," the Master grumbled lazily in return.

The Doctor sighed and took a seat at the edge of the bed.

"That blast must have hit you harder than I thought...." she commented to herself.

The Master didn't bother responding to that as he caught one of her hands in his own. He locked her fingers tight in hers- a single safety to ground him- as his mind quickly slipped deeper into the unknown.

He was out in seconds.

  
  


The Master woke up sharply to an unfamiliar room and someone unusually close to him.

He startled awake to find the Doctor in his arms....

Alright, that was certainly a new one.

She was already awake, with her ear pressed to his chest.

"Oh, hello. I had to make sure nothing happened to you while you were asleep!" she excused casually. Not at all embarrassed by her actions.

The Master's eyes widened.

He felt the fabric of the sheets, heard the distant whirl of the Tardis, could see the Doctor crattled in is arms, and-

"Wait- I'm _NOT_ dead?" the Master breathed sharply. He wasn't sure if it was in sudden realization or relief.

"Of course you're not dead!" the Doctor promised as she moved to sit up. "You nearly got caught in the blast, but I pulled you out of there in time. You gave me a real scare."

The Master nodded weakly and pressed his hands to his face as he stayed determined not to start crying all over again as shock flooded his systems. He pulled his hands away to find that he was shaking terribly.

The Doctor sighed and pulled the Master into her arms. The Master froze for a long second. He then quickly returned the action and locked his own arms tight around her.

"It's okay," the Doctor promised softly. "I... I'm sorry too. I didn't realize how much you were hurting. I'm sorry it took almost killing us both to realize that.

I'll do better," the Doctor pleaded softly. "Give me time to learn and do right by you."

The Master pressed closer to her. He could feel tears blur his vision and his fearful breathing speed up all over again.

"You... mean that?" he asked softly against the Doctor's shoulder.

The Doctor pulled him even tighter into her strong arms.

"I do. Stay here for a little while, not as a captive but as my friend. Get some rest.

And then we'll talk.

 _Just_ talk.

And I'll find a way to properly help you.

Please, please can we do that?" the Doctor asked softly.

The Master still couldn't say for certain if this was real. It felt impossible, but the cool air on his skin and the white noise of the Tardis had all the markings of reality.

He sunk closer against the Doctor and closed his eyes once more. He pulled her close and tight in his arms. He wouldn't be going anywhere anytime soon anyways.

"Okay..." he agreed.

It didn't feel like it should be that easy... but it was.

Reality or not, he would trade anything to stay safely cradled in the Doctor's arms just a little longer...

**Author's Note:**

> There are two ways to interpret this fic.  
> Either:  
> After the events of The Timeless Children and having time to reflect, the Doctor returns with her Tardis to save the Master from the particle blast on Gallifrey at the last second.  
> Or  
> The Master wakes up in the afterlife to find the reality he's always wanted.
> 
> Both cause me immense emotional agony so you can decide for yourself which it is 🙃
> 
> Thank you for reading! This is just a little fic for now while I work on some updates for my other fics.  
> I hope you liked it! I'm always a sucker for them being sweet to each other <3  
> Have a wonderful day!!


End file.
